The Bloody UnDead.

Holding Hands

2008-12-01T13:30:00.000-08:00

Be sure to watch to the very end. It is SOOOO cute!

Doubt ~ A lyric poem

2008-11-28T17:45:00.000-08:00

Helpless ~
Realized on the sense of doubt ~
Instilling fear.

Hope ~
Lapses into the abyss of unknowing ~
Deaf to hear (my voice):
Numb to feel (my touch):
Scared to dream.

Love ~
Hesitant to trust without oath:
Slighted in its honesty.

Shame ~
(How can my love not be enough?)
Accepting its mine.
Knowing that time is
Our only reprieve:
Our only chance to believe:
Our only light.

Breath ~
(Struggling for air)
Held tight...

~ Helpless.

Life is Never as Bad (or as Good) as You Think

2008-11-12T09:37:00.000-08:00

Scientology: Myth? Madness? or maybe.....??

2008-11-06T17:59:00.000-08:00

Ok. So we have all heard about Scientology and how certain names in Hollywood are advocates for the "faith." But did you know that Scientology was introduced to the world by L. Ron Hubbard, a science fiction novelist? Not a doctor or scientist, but a science fiction novelist.

Now please understand, my intentions are not to denounce any of Mr. Hubbard's many successes or accomplishments yet at the same time, you have to wonder how a self-improvement theory, entitled Dianetics, introduced with a publication in a science fiction magazine (due to the medical and mainstream avenues having no interest as there was no scientific data to support the validity of his theory) could develop such a following. A following strong enough to support a new "church;" i.e. a new "religion."

It is my understanding that Scientologists believe their bodies to be temporary vessels for their immortal being, called "Thetan." They believe that they have lived for trillions of years, and are reborn again and again. They believe they were banished to earth 75 million years ago by an evil galactic warlord named Xenu. The also believe that Xenu "implanted" them with a number of false "realities" - including the concepts of God, Christ and organized religion. Scientologists - Thetans - believe they have attached themselves to human beings, where they remain to this day, creating not just the root of all of our emotional and physical problems but the root of all problems of the modern world. It is their goal to free themselves of this entrapment and to one day return home to their planet, having rid themselves of their temporary vessel and angst.

One begins their passage of Scientology Enlightenment, known as the Bridge to Total Freedom, for a nominal fee. There are specific stages, or "grades," of the Bridge, and the key to progressing "upward" is auditing: hundreds, if not thousands, of sessions that Scientologists believe can not only help them resolve their problems but fix their ethical breaches, much as Catholics might do in confessing their sins. The ultimate goal in every auditing session is to have a "win," or moment of revelation, which can take a few minutes, hours or even weeks. Scientologists are not allowed to leave an auditing session until their "auditor" (a higher ranking Scientologist who makes big bucks from what I can gather) is satisfied.

So how much is this nominal fee? Well, auditing is purchased in 12.5-hour blocks. Each block can cost anywhere from $750 for introductory sessions to between $8,000 and $9,000 for advanced sessions (from what I have read, they pretty much charge for all their"religious" services).

And who ranks higher on their ladder of success? Well, for one, Tom Cruise; Weirdo Cruise.

I say believe what you want to; give your money to whoever you want to, but let's be honest. Scientology is a science fiction story that made L. Ron Hubbard a very rich man and a very wealthy empire. If I could create a new religion and have people offer me tons of money to jump on board my bandwagon you better be damned sure I would. I'd be crazy not to. And these days, crazy ain't what it used to be.

My conclusion of Scientology? A scheme to make a LOT of money - and it worked. What's your conclusion?

The Results are In

2008-11-05T08:40:00.000-08:00

Deviant Art for Post Halloween

2008-11-03T18:19:00.001-08:00

found this lil' gem over at Deviant Art. Definitely worth checking out if you like to draw or doodle. It's everyday people with lots of talent.

Life is the dance of penguins

2008-11-01T19:13:00.001-07:00

What will YOU do?

2008-10-24T08:03:00.001-07:00

Dumb Laws Stupid People Thought Were Smart Ideas

2008-10-23T22:12:00.000-07:00

Why can't law makers ever clean up their books? I mean, would it really be so hard or does it cut into their tee time? Stupid shit has been on the books for eons and if anyone wanted to be a prick, they could easily enforce one of these babies. I'm even thinking citizens arrest....

Check these out:

In Pennsylvania, no man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife. Hehehe. THAT could be fun! Let's try a different one.

In San Francisco, it’s apparently illegal to wipe a vehicle with used underwear. Skid marks leave traces of poo, perhaps?? Only new undies are allowed, thank you.

And what ever you do, don't pile your horse manure more than six feet high on any street corner or you might get carted off to jail. Stop at about 5 1/2 feet then move on to the next corner, just to play it safe.

In Carlsbad, New Mexico, it's apparently legal for couples to have sex in a parked vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the car or van has drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in. (Of course, it might be a little hard explaining to the mister/missus why you want curtains in your snazzy corvette.....)

Men are going to love this next one: Apparently a state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, and that's NOT a typo, when being addressed by their female counterparts. If my husband knew that, I think we'd be moving tomorrow!

On a happy note, in Connorsville, Wisconsin, it's illegal for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner has an orgasm. (I'm just wondering what he can do with the gun if she's NOT having an orgasm.....)

In Wisconsin, if two trains meet at an intersection of said tracks, neither shall proceed until the other has. Umm...... check mate??

In Sun Prairie Wisconsin, you may not manufacture nuclear weapons within the city limits. Step over the city limit line? Well, then it's OK.

An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in-meat freezer. I don't know about you guys, but I prefer laying down myself.... I'm in the clear!

In Virginia, you can't have sex during the daytime, or with a light on. I'm thinking this law means there must be some butt ugly people in Virginia!

In Mississippi, a person can be fined up to $100 for using "profane language" in public places.

I'm fucked.

In Rohnert Park, California, it is illegal for a women to have sex with a cow, but it is legal for a couple to have a threesome including the cow. Not quite sure who the brain was behind this law, but I'm betting it was not a sane one.

In Tennessee it is legal to gather and consume road kill. Too bad. Potted Possum is a real treat here in Georgia....

In Alabama, it's illegal to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. Fun maybe, but illegal.

In Florida, men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown, but apparently spaghetti straps are acceptable.

In Washington, a law to reduce crime states that "It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town." Man, I can hear that conversation now.....

Criminal: "Hello. I am entering your state with the intention of pillaging your women and robbing your liqueur stores."

Police Chief: "Thank you so much for calling. Just don't kill anyone, k?"

Gawd I feel dumber just knowing this shit.

But before I end this ramble and risk my last brain cell bursting, I want you to consider this: In Texarkana, Texas, it’s illegal to ride a horse at night without taillights.

Hmmm..... I wonder if sticking a mag light up his ass and turning it on would suffice??? What do you think??

Solitaire - a poem

2008-10-23T15:27:00.000-07:00

A tear ~ solitaire:
Faint whispers of loneliness
Echo as it falls.

Photo Hunters - Lazy

2008-10-11T08:05:00.000-07:00

Rebirth - a poem of hope

2008-10-09T18:29:00.000-07:00

Desire sparks effulgent in a memory not yet created
And a persistent ache echoes with the intensity
of its anticipated passion.

An ache ~ brought to life by the urgency of two souls
Eagerly attempting to sustain their thirst:
To quench the hunger that drives their appetite to
heights of celestial bliss;
Cresting on a cloud of surreal eroticism
~ igniting faith.

And in the depths of expectancy,
With nourishing awareness seizing the moment of intimacy,
A mending heart grasps the thread of unrestraint
~ risking rebirth.

Are we there yet??

2008-10-01T09:47:00.000-07:00

Proposed Preamble To The Constitutional Bill of Rights i.e. The NON-Rights

2008-09-29T09:06:00.001-07:00

I received an email today proposing a "preamble" of sorts to the constitution: A Bill of Non-Rights. A sort of "look you dumb fucks, before you get all excited with the following allowances, duly note what will NOT be allowed or offered you should you decide to become a drain on society."

I know it's just a pipe dream, but I applaud whomever came up with the idea. Following is what he/she/it proposed, addressed to the "terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters." I'd like to add to that list deadbeats, free loaders, people who keep having babies and care for them, and slow/obnoxious/stupid drivers.....

Therefore, be it known that we, the really cool people, propose to you, the people noted in the above paragraph, the following:

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one guarantees you anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone - not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of offending idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes at someone else's tax paying expense.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us are sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful (and no, we are not going to foot the bill for you!)

ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from as it does not change the fact that English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from!

ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God, and yet you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, GET OVER IT !!!

Kudos, anonymous e-mailer. Kudos.

Neverending Questions (a quatrain poem)

2008-09-27T20:23:00.000-07:00

Shattered dreams resonate within her mind,

Filling her heart with hate;

knowing that prayers are too late

and nothing can change her fate......

Wordless Wednesday

2008-09-24T19:48:00.001-07:00

The Yankees Go Home

2008-09-24T06:01:00.000-07:00

Eat THAT you Wankers, I mean Yankees! For the first time in 14 years, no October. That sucks. I may not like you guys, but I have to admit, I feel bad for you. Usually you guys are really good; just not this year.

Red Sox clinch playoff spot by beating Cleveland

So Wall Street gets bailed out (maybe) yet I am going to pay the price by being out on my ass at age 70......

2008-09-23T13:24:00.000-07:00

Being in the mortgage industry I’ve seen a lot of stupid crap.

Crap like people with credit scores of 500 getting 100% home mortgage loans.

Crap like people with over $40,000 in collections listed on their credit report, getting 100% home mortgage loans, and the collections not having to be paid off.

Crap like prominent doctors getting 100% interest only arm loans for a mortgage on a new home valued over $400,000, while placing a bridge loan on their current primary residence (valued over $200,000) thinking it will sell before the bridge loan comes due.

Crap like people getting a 95% home mortgage loan on a trailer (YES trailer. What do you think a mobile home is?) where the lot it sits on is valued more than the tin box. Meaning if the borrower goes into foreclosure, the bank is screwed because the majority of the value is coming from the land and not the home.

The list goes on and on….

Sure, lending laws made it easy. Lending laws made it easy to up the value of a home so that the seller could increase the sales price in order to add seller paid closing costs to the mix because the buyer didn’t have more than $100 in savings, yet still they wanted to buy a house at no out of pocket expense, when they could barely pay their rent. And lending laws made it easy to do so.

People got greedy. Lending laws made it easy for an investor to have 10+ properties financed when they had no nest egg to allow for vacancies – meaning the investor had no savings to make the monthly payment on their own volition should they not have a renter in place who paid, or paid on time.

And where does all this get us? It gets us to the point where the government is going to increase the already increasing deficit by “lending” $700 BILLION to bails these lending institutions out so these dead beat people who didn’t pay their bills to begin with won’t lose their home. To bail out these lending institutions who made the dumbass decision to give a loan to a doctor whose debt to income ratio was at 60%+ WITHOUT taking the bridge loan into account!!

Clinton loves the idea of the government bailing these Mensa members out. So does the Bush administration. They are pushing for it. And who is going to pay for it?

Well let’s think about that one, shall we?

The Wall Street Bailout Plan, Explained by David Stout
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
provided by The Wall Street Journal

Q. Who, really, is going to come up with the $700 billion?
A. American taxpayers will come up with the money, although if
you are bullish on America in the long run, there is reason to hope that the tab
will be less than $700 billion. After the Treasury buys up those troubled
mortgages, it will try to resell them to investors. The Treasury’s involvement
in the crisis and the speed with which Congress is responding could generate
long-range optimism and raise the value of those mortgages, although it is
impossible to say by how much. So it would not be correct to think of the
federal government as simply writing a check for $700 billion. It is just
committing itself to spend that much, if necessary. But the bottom line is, yes,
this bailout could cost American taxpayers a lot of money.
Q. So is it fair to say that Americans who are neither rich nor reckless are being asked to rescue people who are? What is in this package for responsible homeowners of modest means who might be forced out of their homes, perhaps for reasons beyond their control?
A. Yes, you could argue that people who cannot tell soybean futures from puts, calls and options are being asked to clean up the costly mess left by Wall Street. To make the bailout palatable to the public, it is being described as far better than inaction, which administration officials and members of Congress say could imperil the retirement savings and other investments of Americans who are anything but rich.”

And in a seperate publication, The Nehemiah Corporation stated in their weekly newsletter (which I happen to receive – ironically - weekly:)

While our government is bailing out Wall Street, DPA and H.R. 6694 is looking
out for Main Street. The plan being negotiated by the Bush administration
and Congressional leaders calls for the government to spend up to $700 billion
to bailout Wall Street. Add in the $300 billion from the "Housing Bill" (H.R
3221) passed in July and this bailout is costing taxpayers $1 TRILLION! The
single largest part of this tragedy is that this $1 trillion is being spent
bailout Wall Street, banks, institutional investors and foreign investors!
And while all this is going on in Washington, D.C., who's looking out for
the American Taxpayer? Who's focusing on working class Americans?”

Surprise, fucking Surprise.

So let’s see if I have this right. People like me, people who bust their ass and work hard to pay their bills, people who bought homes WITHIN THEIR MEANS; people who ARE NOT A DRAIN on society, get to foot the bill for other people’s lame-assed, retarded, fucked up decisions.

I don’t get any tax breaks. Hell, because I don’t have any kids, I get even LESS tax breaks. And don’t preach to me about the cost of raising a child. YOU, the parent, chose to have that child. Besides that, I am simply stating what benefits I DON'T get because of what I DON’T do.

I understand Wall Street is affected. Hell, I work in mortgages so how can I not? I also know that it means my retirement is affected. Hell, for that matter, I understand that my social security, the money, MY MONEY, that I busted my ass for, will probably not be available to me when I reach retirement age. Yet again, more of my hard earned dollars benefiting someone else. Why not at least give me the courtesy of deciding who it will benefit instead of deciding for me?

Our world just keeps getting more and more fucked up everyday. I wonder how much it costs to live in New Zealand??

POSTNOTE:

I realize this may be a necessary sacrifice, and that should our financial system collapse, should WALL STREET collapse, that Main Street will as well. I just don't have to be happy about the whole thing.

Reference links:

http://finance.yahoo.com/banking-budgeting/article/105824/The-Wall-Street-Bailout-Plan-Explained

http://www.nehemiahcorp.org/

Blink-182's Travis Barker and DJ AM Critically Injured in Plane Crash

2008-09-22T09:46:00.000-07:00

So I work about 1/4 of a mile from Doctors Hospital, the hospital with one of the best burn units in the country.

The evil side of me keeps telling me to go over there on my lunch break and snap some pics of Travis Barker and DJ AM. Wondering what I could sell them for.

Doctors Hospital happens to be my HMO assigned hospital, so its not like I wouldn't have reason to be there necessarily.

Damn my good, considerate side from preventing me from doing it! This could be my retirement if I pose as a nurse and get some pictures up close and really personal!

Damn. Even Mandy Moore came to visit.....

Heres the scoop:

Blink-182's Travis Barker and DJ AM Critically Injured in Plane Crash

Barker's assistant Chris Baker, 29 was one of the 4 people who died in the crash.
Saturday, September 20, 2008

SEE THE VIDEO

Travis Barker, a former Drummer for Blink 182, and DJ AM are in critical condition after the plane they were flying on went off the runway and crashed. Four other people aboard the plane were killed.

According to TMZ, Barker is severely burned from the waist down but is expected to survive. DJ AM, whose real name is Adam Michael Goldstein is being treated for burns on his face. The two were transported to a burn center in Augusta, Georgia where they are listed in critical condition.

Barker and Goldstien apparently saved their own lives by jumping out the door of the burning plane. Barker's assistant Chris Baker, 29 was one of the 4 people who died in the crash. He was newly married with a newborn baby.

The other three who did not survive were pilot Sarah Lemmon, co-pilot James Bland and Charles Still.

Barker is famous for his drum work in the Band Blink 182 and his reality show "Meet the Barkers" with on again off again ex-wife and former Miss USA Shanna Moakler.

Goldstien was once engaged to reality star and socialite Nicole Richie.

Barker performed Friday night at an event with Perry Farrell, Gavin DeGraw, and DJ AM.

The FAA said the plane carrying six people was departing when an air traffic controller reported seeing sparks. The plane went off the runway and crashed on a nearby road.

The plane was going to Van Nuys, CA.

Photo Copyright Wire Image

Copyright © 2003-2008 Clear Channel. All rights reserved.

My 70's Flashback

2008-09-15T20:30:00.000-07:00

I've been very nostalgic lately but it's not what you'd think. I have not been missing someone - but rather something:

Really good music.

I've recently discovered 2 new blogs: Rock N Roll Classics & Classic Video Jukebox. Both are run by the same guy - a guy hailing from Boston, the coolest city in the world (ok, maybe not the coolest to some, but it's definitely my favorite) who seems to have really good taste in music. In browsing his blogs it got me reminiscing (nothing like a little LRB to keep ya' grounded) about my youth and the music I grew up on. Some of it was before my time, but I lived it as if I owned it. And I miss it. Today's music is so totally different, and to find a rock station that I don't have to pay for that actually plays classic rock is almost impossible in my little town of Disgusta Georgia.

So anyway, as I was tripping down memory lane, I tried to come up with my top 5 favorite albums of the 70's. Notice I said ALBUMS, as in NOT cd's.... vinyl has a sound all its own, and the snap crackle pop makes the memory more authentic. Unfortunately I no longer have a turn table, and have since pawned many of my coveted LP's.... the naivty of youth is not always a good thing.

So anyway, I chose my top 5 favorites based on the albums I listened to most. The albums where I know every song, and every word (whether they are right or wrong. Just don't put me on "Don't forget the Lyrics"-I might embarass myself.) Albums I have since converted to CD's and still listen to today, never tiring of them. And I think I got them.

So without further adeu, in no particular order:

Journey Infinity & Journey Evolution (tied)

I can't remember a time in my life prior to turning 30 that I did not play music from the band Journey. To this day, they rank in my top 5 favorite. I even had my high school yearbook monogrammed with a tribute to the band. GAWD what a nerd I was - hhmmm..... perhaps I shouldn't admit that.

Anyway, check out this video- how in hell could we have ever thought that look Steve Perry was going for was a good thing?????

Another nerd confession: I was a WIZ at their arcade game, Escape. Top THAT people!

Reo Speedwagon - You Can Tuna Piano But You Can't Tuna Fish

I had this on 8-track. I was 10. I played that thing so much that I am amazed the tape lasted as long as it did. Needless to say I replaced it with vinyl once available, and now of course, CD. The song "Time For Me to Fly" will ever hold a special place in my heart; not because of a guy but because of an f'ed up childhood that will forever leave me dysfunctional.

All the songs on this release are awesome though, and I highly suggest you check it out.

I wanted to tie this one with their album A Decade of Rock N Roll, but being as it was released on New Years Day, 1980, I could not in clear conscience. This is after all, a post about my 70's flashback, and even if the release was one day later, it was still one day too late.

Meatloaf - Bat Out of Hell

Meatloaf. Just one word and everyone knows who I am talking about. Fat and sweaty, and drug induced, but man could he suck you into his lyrical world! At least, he sucked me in, and I was singing his songs even when the album wasn't playing. And it has not stopped. Anytime I am having a bad day, all I have to do is pop this baby into the CD player, crank up the volume like I was 16 again, and Bat Out of Hell starts the de-stressing process immediately. It's awesome!

Lynyrd Skynyrd - Pronounced Len-nerd Skin-nerd

The 70's would not have been the same without Lynyrd Skynyrd, and you didn't have to be southern to love them or appreciate their music. Unfortunately I am southern, but I would have loved them no matter what. Theirs is a bittersweet tragic tale, but their music is great stuff that I will never get tired of signing along with, although my husband really wishes I would.

----------------

Since I tied the two Journey albums, that leaves me up in the air for number 5. I have so many that I am trying to narrow down: Van Halen, Boston, Deep Purple, BOC..... I was hoping you guys could sway me. Throw out some suggestions of albums that I have - dare I say it - forgotten about, and need reminding of....

So what have you got for me? What are your favorites from the 70's?

A Simply Haiku

2008-09-03T13:07:00.000-07:00

So with all this doom and gloom that has innundated my days and consumed my nights, I thought I would post a haiku poem I wrote back in my high school days. It promises love and nobility and honor, and all those kinds of things the days of King Arthur romaticized....

A Simple Haiku

Longing consumes me
As my heart beats with fervor
For my noble knight...

For a day passes
Slowly until the night comes,
Yielding him to me.

Did I mention Lunar Pages Sucks?

2008-08-28T20:22:00.000-07:00

So now - going into our 3rd day of multiple sites being down, "customer service" has decided to move our problem to "technical support" for assistance.

GOOD F'N GAWD!!!! It takes almost 4 days for them to even acknowledge the problem is on their end, almost 2 days to "try to resolve the issue" and another 18 hours to decide to get "tech support" involved.

People do NOT use Lunar Pages. RUN from Lunar Pages. they are full of uncooperative idiots who thinks it's everyone else's fault but theirs.

LUNAR PAGES IS SHIT (see post below for clarification)

LunarPages Sucks!!!

2008-08-28T13:18:00.000-07:00

Ok so for almost a week now I have been told that my primary blog's errors are not caused by the host server but rather caused by me having a cheap template (I promise you, it was not as cheap as they think.) After almost a week of going around and around with my host server to the point where I am ready to go postal and start kicking puppies, they finally just this morning acknowledge they have a problem.

Now since yesterday, my blog is totally inaccessable. All 20 something of our websites are inaccessible. We cannot even get into admin on any of them! We repeatedly get 404 errors and shit! Big giant stinky piles of shit that make my boxers look like German Chocolate cake!

SHITSHITSHIT!

That is my new name for Lunar Pages. Shit. And if they lose all my posts and drafts or my backups (since some were performed on their hosting site) I think I might be blogging from jail.......

OHOHOH - and this is not the first time we have had problems with Lunar Pages. In those other instances, they always claimed it was due to something we did as well only to find out it was usually a problem on their end.

Did I mention that Lunar Pages sucks???

Little things mean so much

2008-08-21T19:01:00.000-07:00

My girl Nona, over at "Yummy! Down on This" made me realize something today.

I have been too long on the dark side these last few weeks.

Winona, or Nona if you prefer, always has a day where she gives thanks for things in her life. Little things, not big things like health and stuff, but little (sometimes weird )things, and she always seems to find a reason to smile.

So I thought I would turn this frown of mine upside down and smile for a bit, and see what little things I can come up with to be thankful for. Here goes nothing:

Little things I am thankful for:

1. My dogs who, even though they annoy the F*CK out of me more often than not, give me unconditional love even when I am at my worst.

2. Diet Pepsi. Because no matter how much I need my morning pot of coffee, I need my Diet Pepsi first.

3. My husband, for all the special little things.....

4. Straws. Cuz they make everything liquid taste that much better.

5. My mom. Cuz even tho I will probably be as crazy as she is one day, she's still my mom and she loves me even when I am a bitch.

6. Really cheesy B-movies cuz they make me laugh and forget life for awhile.

7. Metal music. Cuz when I feel like shit, and it's cranked up insanely loud, I just feel better.

8. Q-tips. Cuz nothing feels better than a good brain scratch.

And now I am supposed to finish up with some cute funny pics. So here they are in no particular order:

So go check Nona out. And if you are a fan of small pets (as am I) she's really rather informative when it comes to rats (another reason I like her.)

Wordless Wednesday: Before & After

2008-08-20T19:01:00.000-07:00

Save Me...

2008-08-19T09:23:00.000-07:00

What is this Evil
Growing inside me?
Who gave it legs and
Permission to feed,
On this - my own life….

Why can’t I cut
This evil out?
Why can’t I bleed
Fountains of youth?

I cry tears,
anguished pain;
Yet nothing…

Nothing
Can save

…me.

Life is Cruel

2008-08-17T08:52:00.000-07:00

John Q is on tv right now. For those of you who don't know, it's a movie starring Denzel Washington as a father whose young son is in renal heart failure and needs a transplant. Problem is that his insurance, his HMO, does not have a provision for treatment of this magnitude, and the hospital is of course all about the almighty dollar. John Q (symbolically referring to "John Q Public") has no choice but to take matters into his own hands in order to save the one thing in the world that matters most: his son.

This movie breaks my heart in that it so vividly illustrates how we have become a nation of greed and indifference. How the value of human life has been reduced to a buck.

I have no idea how much radiation or chemo costs. But I do know that for one person, a 5-hour duration of chemo is $15000. I also know some sort of shot that has to be administered 24 hours after each chemo treatment in order to increase the white blood cell count runs another $7000.

This does not take into account blood work, ex rays, pet-scans, prescriptions, etc that go along with cancer.

I'm not quite sure where I am going with all this. I think it's just more of me feeling angry.

Angry and helpless.

I don't understand why bad things happen to good people. Why innocence has to die.

Why babies die.

Sprout was just a baby. She had done nothing that would warrant penance of life. So why her? And why so many others like her?

I was raised a catholic. I believe in God. But I can't believe that any of this makes sense in the grand design of his plan.

Call it blasphemy. Call it unchristian. Call it whatever you want but explain to the family of Sprout how this makes sense. Explain to my family how incurable cancer makes sense.

Yeh, I am in the angry stage. Hopefully it will pass and I will find the faith that I was raised on....

I just can't see it right now.

Wordless Wednesday: Dead ain't what it used to be......

2008-08-13T09:33:00.000-07:00

Photo Hunters: Dark

2008-08-09T07:21:00.000-07:00

Today's theme is dark. It could not be more fitting right now.

This tree is in my back yard. My husband wanted to chop it down but I would not let him. It's too ominous; too creepy, too dark. And actually when it is full of leaves, it's rather beautiful.

If you look close enough, you can see the rain between the branches.

I am angry...

2008-08-08T19:43:00.000-07:00

I am so very angry right now. And there is no one that I can attack; no one that do anything about my anger. But it is there. And it is fierce; and it hurts.

So many others have felt this pain; have felt this helplessness. And still there are no answers; no reasons why.

No cure.

And the tears that fall do nothing more than reinforce the anger, and their tracks make my heart bleed even more......

A Fine Line Between Denial & Anger

Spidery veins of carnivorous black
stab into my flesh, burning in their path....
Charring my skin, boiling my blood
and all the while tendrils of denial
feign ignorance.....

Why?
All the while, asking why?

Tossing a coin into the fountain of youth,
it's only one life in deaths "grand design".....
But its my life, and
not that of the virus nibbling away in eager anticipation
of yet another casualty....

....and I am not ready to concede!

Who are you to place coins over
innocent eyes of allegiance?
Do I disappoint?

Well, Fuck You!

The Stranger

2008-08-07T11:16:00.000-07:00

Looking in a mirror

I see a stranger staring back at me.

The eyes express emptiness,

no sign of recognition.

Confusion emerges,

asking questions whose answers are

Camouflaged

by a parasitic shell which feeds

On the emotions of its companions

greedily:

Else it would deteriorate and

return to the ash

from which it came.

Vacant eyes ~

yet expressing desire for knowledge.

Who am I?

Briefly I glance down and
upon returning to my desperate stare,
I see only confusion cloud my eyes again.

Does this deck make me look fat??

2008-08-06T19:40:00.000-07:00

Does a tramp stamp make you a tramp?

2008-08-05T17:41:00.000-07:00

There seems to be a whole lot of controversy regarding tramp stamps. For those of you who do not know what they are, they are tattoos chicks get on their lower backs. They are called tramp stamps because they imply the girl is a little more "free" than your average "good" girl. What BS.

I don't quite understand the stereotype the tramp stamp implies. Men who get tattoos on their forearms are not automatically labeled meatheads, and a chick with a tat on her ankle is not automatically considered loose. So why does the lower back say so much more?

I have two tattoos. One on the back of my right shoulder, and the other is the good ol "tramp stamp." I thought long and hard about my first tattoo. Wanted it since I was 15. Made myself wait til I was 30 before I would let myself get it. I figured that if I still wanted it at 30, it would probably not be a fleeting fancy.

So at 30, for my birthday, I got my first tattoo. I settled. I did not get what I had always wanted because my husband did not like the idea. I also had it put somewhere I did not originally want it.

I highly recommend that if you want a tattoo, do not settle. Get what you want, where you want it, otherwise you will regret it.

Needless to say my husband is not a fan of my tattoos and does not understand my desire for ink, even though I have gotten both (well, technically I have 3 tattoos but one was modified which is why I say only have 2) in the time frame I have been with my husband. And I want another one. Well, another 2 really. He doesn't know that part yet. He thinks I only want one more.

They say ink is addictive and I for one can attest to the accuracy of that statement. For me it represents my individuality, my independence, my uniqueness, and my defiance. In a weird sort of way, in my my mind, it symbolizes who I am, and not who I think I should be. For some people ink is nothing more than a decoration, or a mood at a particular moment. For others it's much deeper. And even though the tattoo itself may not be symbolic, the reasons behind it are; like in my case.

So I am curious - which of you have ink? Or are you of the mindset that it says something negative about the person who has it?

And if you do have a tattoo, does it mean something? Or was it an impulse?

What do you think?

PhotoHunters: Clouds

2008-08-02T06:28:00.000-07:00

Baseball just ain't what it used to be....

2008-07-31T05:54:00.000-07:00

Wanna know something? I love the Red Sox. I don’t follow them religiously by knowing each players individual history or their specific stats. Hell, I don’t even know all their names. But I do know arrogance. And right now arrogance is spelled R-A-M-I-R-E-Z.

Manny Ramirez thinks he put the Sox where they are today; that they are not good enough of a team for his greatness.

Read this article here

HELLO!!!! Is he the only player they have that’s any good? F**K NO! Although he thinks he is. And it’s that kind of arrogance that makes me look at him in a whole new light, and I for one am glad the Sox no longer have him on their team. A world series is not won by ONE person – it’s a joint effort of the TEAM. Apparently Manny doesn't understand that.

Now read this article here

So from this morning to this afternoon, we get to say "Good Riddance" to Mr. Ramirez. Am I the only one who wants to see the door hit him in the ass on the out??

Monday Madness

2008-07-28T15:48:00.000-07:00

Madness?..... or genius.....
You decide.

This is my boxer again. His tongue seems to be too big for his mouth as he will regularly have his mouth closed and a part of his tongue hanging out. It dries up too, and will feel like sandpaper. I can grab it and he just gives me that big dumb lummox look that is so adorable. He really is a gentle giant.

Would you choose your family?

2008-07-27T13:32:00.000-07:00

There is a saying that you can choose your friends but you can't choose your relatives. Well, you can also choose whether or not to be friends with your relatives.

Being raised catholic, it was always instilled in me that you love your parents no matter what. You accept what they say, what they do, what they deem necessary, as law. It's much like how catholicism is taught. Do not question your lord; do not question your parents.

I lived like that for 30 years. It took me almost my whole life before realizing that I am the one who has the right to dictate what is acceptable to me; for me. Blood ties does not give a person a right to make a person doubt them self, or feel they are not worthy. A person may not get to chose their relatives, but they do get to choose having a relationship with those relatives, and they do get to chose their own beliefs.

So does this knowledge offer me peace? No. Does it help to erase the memories and emotions that go with those memories? No. But what it does offer is a type of closure, and that my friends, can sometimes be enough.

Washed Hands

Lollipop kisses (sticky sweet)
Impress their nectar upon your whiskered cheek:
Your hand absently wiped away their
adolescent aftertaste.

Despondent arms:
Outstretched for a reassuring (pretentious) hug
Grasp only the stale air of your indifference
Breathed upon my naively upturned face:
Smothered in incognizance.

Does it mystify?
That I have excommunicated myself from
Your well rehearsed pleasantries?
Your hypocritical attempts to condone
justification of Your displaced loyalty
simply compounds the situation.

Your bed is not mine to lie in -
Your rules no longer mine to follow.

Perhaps now you will be the one to recite fairy-tales
On feather-filled pillows, as silent tears cascade down
Self erected barricades, puddling by your cheek...

Pray you never hear the lone hoot owl
As he waits impatiently by your grave...

Photo Hunters: Hanging

2008-07-26T16:16:00.001-07:00

Ok so this is Zeus - he is my hunk of boxer stud. His tongue is exceptionally long as these cameos illustrate. I can only recommend you keep a towel handy should he decide to lick you.....

Do you PhotoHunt??

The Hunger

2008-07-26T16:11:00.001-07:00

Aching desire, physical need;
The animal in each of us longing to feed:
On the primal necessity of satisfying the thirst
For companionship, love, and the game
Unversed.

Reckless teasing, innocent play;
Awakens the instinct, though fight as you may:
It consumes to the core of your very existence
and confuses the mind with its incessant persistence.
Provoking, evoking, blind action undefined
and the hunger remains
and common sense resigns itself to the game.

There is no mystery;
There is nothing to hide.
The animal in each of us will not be denied:

...Surrender.

Why is Life so Cruel?

2008-07-24T16:14:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else out there wonder why we get sick? And I'm not talking about the flu, or a stomach virus; I'm talking about aids, and cancer, and alzheimers. Is it life's way of getting even for something we've done? Punishment? Is there a God that really outlines our lives and we are just playing the part like puppets on a string?

Is it our destiny or fate? Luck of the draw? Why does bad things happen to good people??

My mother in law has cancer. Stage 3 - cancer in both lungs, the side of her throat, and her lymph glands.

Why?? Cancer does not run in her family. She does not abuse alcohol or drugs. Yes, she is a smoker but so is 1000's of other people who never get sick. She would give you the shirt off her back if you asked for it, a warm meal or a place to sleep.

Why her?

I guess this is just another one of those mysteries of life we can never explain. I suppose we should be thankful for what we HAVE versus what we don't have. Yeh - I'd be real thankful to have cancer.

Talk about twisted humor.

Naive Wisdom

Broken promises lie scattered at my feet

An aching fills my empty heart.

Hopes which once were firmly grasped,

Lies have ripped apart.

Unanswered questions invade my mind

Seeking answers never to find.

I close my eyes in anxious vain,

Never to trust again.

...Naivete begets wisdom.

Lions & Tigers & Zombies, oh my!

2008-07-21T10:38:00.000-07:00

What if.....??

What if I told you there was no god? Would you believe me? Or would you think I was a heathen who was going to rot in hell for not having faith in the "written word"? The verbal word handed down, subject to interpretation and memory of the transcriber? Would you chastise me for doubting what I could not see or touch?

What if I told you Jesus had taken a wife, and fathered children? Would you call it blasphemy? Even though it has been written, as the bible has been written, and has many believers in it's validity?

If I said all this, would you stop reading this blog post, for fear of possible questions that could arise in the back of your minds..... fearing that should you question him, as we are taught not to do, you would be committing some unspeakable sin?

Now imagine this......

What if I told you zombies exist? Would you consider believing me? Or would you think I was some kook that needed their head examined because there is no way un-dead people are out there wandering around, eating other people and causing their victims un-dead transformation?

What about Haitian or African VooDoo? Middle Ages Folklore? Even Norse mythology had their share of reanimated corpses. Could there be any merit to the theory if so many believe it to be true? Granted these cases do not depict "zombies" as eating human flesh, but they all share the common thread of the dead coming back to "life."

We are taught faith is not based on the tangible, rather it is belief in the intangible. What do you base your faith on?

Flesh Eaters in America

Jeffrey Dahmer. Albert Fish. Two very sick individuals who liked to eat their prey. Cannibalism. More evidence that there are people who actually like the taste of human flesh.

"Food" for thought??

Zombies in America

While there is no concrete evidence to support the validity of the existence of zombies, there is quite an homage to their viability. Annual "zombie walks" held in various cities throughout the world; the "zombie squad" which boasts awareness for disaster preparedness and community service by holding rallys, fund raisers, and even blood drives (you can visit their cause here.)

So what does all this mean?

This page doesn't mean I believe zombies are real, but it also doesn't mean that I don't believe they could actually exist. If I am to believe in the impossible that religion has taught me and not question it's reality, then perhaps......

And why not be prepared for an apocalypse? Russians invaded us in Red Dawn; aliens invaded us in War of the Worlds; spiders invaded us in Eight Legged Freaks..... who am I to say it can't happen??

All I know is I'd rather be safe than sorry..... how 'bout you?

Zombie News Around the World

The Un-Dead Report

Zombie World News

Zombie Preparedness Initiative

Life & Death

2008-07-20T22:09:00.000-07:00

Torn ~
Wanting to feed the life
Yet choking on its breath.
Numb ~
Emotion recognized yet denounced:
Feigning nonchalance.

Tears of denial fall
Yet are absently dismissed.
And still they burn in their
Path of descent
~ Scarring the soul.

And what consequence will be suffered?
~ Before forgiveness is granted (if at all…)

And will repercussions be faced?
(As penance for my sin...)

Or will the torment of the act
Sufficiently suffice:
Continuously reminded by the
Guilt that cannot rest,

Tucked loudly in the corners of my mind...

Solitaire

2008-07-12T16:06:00.000-07:00

A tear ~ solitaire:
Faint whispers of loneliness
Echo as it falls.

The California Fires

2007-11-07T17:49:00.000-08:00

So it would appear a 10 year old child is responsible for the massive fires in California that shattered the lives of so many young and old alike. A 10 year old child who, with a single match, allegedly caused the devastation of some 800+ square miles and the destruction of 2,100 homes. Can there be forgiveness? What punishment, if any, would befitting for a naive 10-year old who was merely fascinated with the cause and effect of a burning match? Presuming he was indeed naive, and not malicious enough to understand the magnitude that his actions might cause.

I am torn. I am torn because at the same time I feel someone should be held accountable for California's destruction, I can't imagine that a 10-year old could begin to fathom what devastation his actions would cause. That alone makes him innocent in my eyes.

How is that possible you ask?How can I not see that he should be punished for the destruction and devastation, let alone pain and suffering, so many endure as every day they feebly attempt to sift through the remnants of their tattered lives; constantly reminded of all they have lost. Longing to close their eyes so that when they once again open them the ashes of a life no longer lived ceases to exist; longing to inhale clean air, rather than air that is stained with the heaviness of smoke filled with lost lives and dreams......

It is possible because I remember a time when I was 6; so young and full of awe of my two older brothers who were gods in my eyes. Boys who were amazing and never wrong. And I remember myself and those boys going out into the woods behind our apartments, exploring, and lighting matches just to watch them burn. And I remember burning leaves and pine. And the flames flickering out of control. I remember trying to step on the fire to put it out. And it raging out of control and spreading so fast that all we could do was run to get away from it.

I don't remember the fire trucks; but I know they were there. I know we burned the woods down and the area was more than an acre in circumference. We were never found out. Even today. 30 years later. I called my mom to ask if she ever knew. She remembered the fire. She was shocked to hear it was us. I don't feel guilty. I don't feel guilty because we were young and naive and never had any intention of hurting anyone or anything. We were simply fascinated by the flames......

And that is why I can't blame a 1o year old for being anything other than careless. I can't imagine he intended for his antics to have the affect that it did-to cause the pain that it did. And I am willing to be he would take it all back if he could.

Here is the story as published by Times, Inc:

"A Child Be Charged in the Fires?
By MICHAEL LINDENBERGERWed Nov 7, 2:35 PM ET
The 10-year-old boy who accidentally started one of the worst California wildfires last month could face stern consequences, should prosecutors decide to bring charges. Though too young to be charged as an adult, the boy could still face millions of dollars in fines, removal from his home and possible detention as a ward of the state. For now the boy's fate - and that of his parents, who would be partially liable for any restitution payments he would have to pay - rests with Los Angeles County District Attorney Steve Cooley. His office told TIME he has not yet decided how to proceed. "The matter is under review," spokeswoman Sandi Gibbons told TIME on Monday. "No decision has been made."
To bring those charges, all Cooley must decide is whether the boy knew right from wrong - an easy standard to meet, other prosecutors in the state say. "That is a lot easier to establish than you would think," said Cyndi Jo Means, a deputy district attorney in nearby San Diego County who leads that county's juvenile division arson team. "Think of your own children, even very small children; most of the time they know when they did something wrong."
Despite the low hurdle to prosecution, Means contends the California juvenile justice system seeks to help young suspects, who can benefit from counseling and close supervision from the court and case workers. Children under 14 are nearly always charged as juveniles, not adults - no matter what the crime. "We try to help the child, and prosecuting them as adults would not be very helpful," Means said. Any finding of guilt, she added, would not follow the boy into adulthood.
Southern Californians are still sorting through the wreckage from the fires, which burned more than 800 square miles - an area 40 times as large as Manhattan - and destroyed some 2,100 homes. The 10-year-old's carelessness sparked the Buckweed fire in Los Angeles County, which destroyed 21 homes and injured at least three people. Those losses have left some residents in a less than forgiving mood. "If you accidentally set a massive fire that destroys homes, causes residents to flee for their lives and requires millions of dollars in resources to extinguish, then you damn well need to pay the piper," wrote Dave Bossert on his online newspaper, The West Ranch Beacon.
Peter Arenella, a professor at the UCLA Law School said any prosecution of a 10-year-old that aims to punish the boy, rather than help him, "is an absurdity. The only justification for that would be if, in some extreme case, there was a need to protect society from him." Barring that, he said, prosecutors should be reluctant to sweep the boy up into the legal system.
It's hard to see how stern consequences - taking the boy from his parents, for instance, and handing down a multi-million fine - would be helpful to the 10-year-old. Much of the decision of whether to prosecute him rests with Cooley, who like prosecutors everywhere has a great deal of discretion. Unless uglier details about the boy's behavior are discovered, he could decide that in this case playing with matches doesn't rise the level of arson - even if the boy admits he knew that doing so was wrong. As Means points out, children almost always admit they knew their actions were wrong when they are questioned by police or prosecutors, which can be a scary experience for a kid.
When the U.S. Supreme Court struck down the death penalty for inmates who were under 18 when they committed their crimes, it argued that teenagers' brains are not fully formed until they are grown, and that punishing them as adults was therefore cruel and unusual. No one is saying a 10-year-old boy ought to be executed for setting a fire, but even the lesser punishment the boy is facing could be nearly as cruel. That has led some to argue that the bar for prosecution ought to be higher than simply proving that he knew right from wrong. Boys know lots of things are wrong - from ignoring bedtimes to eating too many cookies. A better standard, some argue, would be determining whether the boy, at 10, had any way of knowing the consequences of what he was doing with those matches".

With reporting by Jill Underwood/San Diego View this article on Time.com
Copyright © 2007Time Inc

2007-11-05T07:22:00.000-08:00

Well, ya might want to set your coffee cup down before you view this one or else you are liable to be wearing your coffee or worse, spitting it out of your nose.

I can honestly say that thankfully, I have never had the need for the rather ingenious invention of "wedgie proof" undies, however several people I once knew could have benefited highly by having a pair or two.

http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/ver/247.1/popup/index.php?cl=4876031

Go SOX!

2007-10-24T19:11:00.000-07:00

And in the first inning, the first hit, we get a homer by Dustin Pedroia. YEEHAW!! Eat that, Rockies fans!!!!

General consensus in my household (consisting all of one aside from myself) is that I am not allowed to call myself a Red Sox fan (or a yankee for that matter) because I was born in Georgia and possess (or perhaps AM possesed) redneck tendencies. Well I say "F U!!!" At least I am not a fare-weather fan who pulls for the Sox only when they are winning. I pull for them even when they suck! My love for the Red Sox is indiscriminate. And right now, they are making me proud!

Are you an outlaw?

2007-10-18T17:39:00.000-07:00

So it has come to my attention that I am now "Bitch of the White Werewolves" - Can't decide if I love it or hate it. For those of you who ride, or just want to play along, click the following link to see what your "biker outlaw" name should be:

Discover your Outlaw Biker Name

Alive at 38

2007-06-10T16:58:00.000-07:00

ME

I can't believe its taken me 38 years to realize that riding solo on a motorcycle is the most amazing feeling I have ever experienced (well......almost.) :-)

I started in February with the MSF course. Puttered around the neighborhood until Myrtle Beach Bike Week in May - where I was callously thrown to the wolves by my hubby to either "shit or get off the pot" and actually RIDE the bike that I absolutely HAD to have. Then back home again, puttering even more around the local town streets.....

Well today I decided I had the cajones to do a road trip. Now mind you, MY road trip idea is lame compared to you strapping biker boys and babes, but its MY road trip, so I can make it anything I want.

SO - we hop onto Hwy 1 to head out to Columbia SC. Our destination was about 70 miles away. I didn't feel confident to hop onto I-20 so the back roads was our avenue. Chump change. But it was F'N HOT!!!! 92 and rising. And me in my jeans and boots........... sooooooo not cool. (did I mention it was F'N hot??????????)

SO - my hubby says to me as we are heading home..... "You feeling like you can handle I-20? I'll take it easy and we'll go at your pace". Yeh. Ok. FINE. I can't be a candy a$$ my whole life. I mean, if I want to enjoy bike rides and so forth I have to actually venture past the 55mph mark so let's go for it...........

Man I gotta tell ya - something about that road just hit right today and I was having a BLAST!!!!!!! My needle went as high as 85mph (ok well maybe 82 but that's still F'N QUICK for me and my Sporty!) At one point I BLEW past my hubby like a bat out of hell and I could swear I saw his jaw drop when I rounded him!! (He might say I am exaggerating a bit but I assure you, that is EXACTLY how it happened!)

38 years to find this feeling.......... man what a RUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HUBBY

Yeah...blew by me.....uh huh....at least until you ran out of gas going down the highway and didn't know what happened. I guess we can call you speed racer now.

ME

Ok, now isn't that just typical of a guy who's ego has been bruised by a chick (such as this one blowing past you like I was sucking white off rice) to hit me where it hurts?????

Ok yeh, so I have never frickin' driven a clutch, and what the F is a friggin' petcock anyway?? Nothing to do with gas on a motorcycle in my book.

So yeh. My bike starts to sputter. And yeh I had no idea what was happening. And what did my dearly beloved do as I floundered and drifted to the side of the f'n INTERSTATE as my bike stalled out on me cuz I ran out of gas??? (Yeh, I finally figured out I ran out of gas and flipped the thingy. Geezz.........)

Well I'll tell ya what he did. He KEPT RIDING!!!! Probably afraid that once I figured it out I'd pass his ass all over again!!!!!!!!

LEE

Ahh, a happy couple! Hope she didn't muss yer feathers when she blew by ya on that sporty of hers! Sounds like ya'll had fun.

STEVE

Page, you know the saying "If I have to explain you wouldn't understand?"

Well, until you do it, and unless you've got the gene to get it, no one can realize that, other than maybe being a parent, there isn't a feeling in the world better than hangin' with a few good buds while you've got your knees in the breeze. Don't be upset that it took you 38 years to do it. Be glad that you did find riding and that you can do it for the rest of your life.

Oh, and take it easy on hubby next time. He's probably scared to go over 70!

HUBBY

Lee, My feathers are sunburned.....I seem to be surrounded by trash talking sporty owners. I'll break her spirit and stop the trash talking when we go to Asheville. Let's see how much her jaws are flapping after we get done descending some mountains!

SAM

Be careful turning on the reserve while moving Page, and make sure you aren't cranking on the throttle when you do this.

HUBBY

No worries on that...speed racer can't take one hand off the bars yet......

ME

OHHH THAT is SO NOT TRUE!! He's thinking of my BICYCLING abilities as I happen to be very vertically challenged when it comes to bicycles. Removing a hand from the bars tends to result in very painful "mishaps."

Now on the Sporty I do GREAT one handed - he just doesn't want to accept that his meek lil' wifey is doing pretty decent on her bike all by herself (but I don't make it a habit to ride one handed. Usually I do it only to tuck in my shirt so I don't flash all my flesh to the world or because a bug flew up my nose...)

RAUD

After the rush, was their any wild kinky monkey sex? I wanna hear about that!

ME

Raud, a lady never tells! That's the guys job.

HUBBY

Obviously you missed the part where I said we were married.

SLASH

OUCH Bill! But hey, I don't want to be the gloomy voice here but it's right when that bike starts to feel really good,and your confidence level is sky high that weird stuff can happen, Page. It's important to remember the basics and stay focused.

HUBBY

So do you recommend I double the life insurance I have on her, Slash? Is that what you are saying?

SLASH

I'd triple it.... at least for a while.

JOEY

You guys are killing me! You sound like me and my wife talking!

My wife took the MSF course in 2003. Bought her an 883 Hugger. She said "anything bigger, and I can't handle it." Ok.... last summer, we picked up her 05 Heritage Classic. Guess she realized a bike is a bike once you get them moving.

Every once in a while, we'll be out riding and she get's the Speedracer syndrome. Most of the time, 45-55 is her comfort zone. Once in a while, out of nowhere, she'll pass me and run hers up to 80 or 85.

At Myrtle this year, a few of us took a little ride up to Wilmington. On the way back, I was in the very back of our group. She was in front of me. We're rolling down 17 about 60 mph or so and all of a sudden, she jumps outta line and takes off like a bat outta hell! I think it's her Speedracer coming out, so I follow her. I passed her a little of 90. Never even looked over at her. As I checked my mirror, I see her left hand holding her bikini top in place!!!!

I slow down so she comes up beside me. As she was riding, the bikini strap across her back broke! There is nowhere on 17 to pull over, no shoulder, nothing. Every mile or so is an emergency pull off. I'm laughing my ass off at her. At some point, she has to let go of the top and grab the clutch!

Now had she been thinking, she could have let go of the throttle, grabbed her top with that hand, pulled the clutch in, shifted into neutral and slowed to a stop without letting the top go. OH NO, never crossed her mind. About 1/8 mile ahead, we see the pull off. She lets go of the top and starts to slow into the pulloff.

Every trucker in North Carolina must have been on 17 that afternoon. Imagine the image....Hot biker chick riding down the road on her own bike, white boobies shown for the whole world to see. As our group got stopped, none of us could stop laughing, including her. Talk about luck!

HUBBY

Joey, that story is TOO funny!

ME

You know Joey, as much as my goodies are for the viewing pleasure of my hubby only (poor guy) I must confess that had this happened to me I might have just had to say "F'IT!" and let em flap!! What a RIOT!

Oh and for the record, all this crap talk about tripling insurance???? Trust me - he don't want to do his own laundry. He won't let nothin' happen to me!

JOEY

Page, I swear, you sound like my wife. As the trucks rolled past us, blowing their horns, waving, etc, she just kept laughing. At some point, you just gotta say it's funny and go with it. Hell, I don't think I've ever seen her embarrassed about showing them! Hmmmmm... maybe that's a problem in itself....

Anyway, I'm glad you're now enjoying riding. Getting comfortable at highway speed and beyond, takes time. Sounds like you're on your way. So when you gonna do the big bore kit, cams, etc? You gotta find a way to keep up with your boy and his scoot!

ME

Oh HE had that stuff picked out long before Myrtle! He just needed to make sure I was aboard for the ride. All I got to say is "what the hell is taking so danged long??????????"

HIM

Well Joey...according to her....she blew me in the weeds so she must not need the big bore kit now.

2007-06-09T17:23:00.000-07:00

I can't believe its taken me 38 years to realize that riding solo on a motorcycle is the most amazing feeling I have ever experienced (well, one of the most anyway).

I started in Febuary with the MSF course. Puttered around the neighborhood until Myrtle Beach Bike Week - where I was callously thrown to the wolves by my hubby to either "shit or get off the pot" and actually RIDE the bike that I absolutely HAD to have. Then back home again, puttering even more around the local town streets......

Well today I decided I had the cajones to do a road trip. Biker Style. Our destination was Columbia SC via Highway 1 - basically a back road the whole way. Scenic, quaint, cute, to a spot about 70 miles away. Chump change. But lordy was it F'N HOT!!!! 92 and rising. And me in jeans and boots (just in case of road rash)........ sooooooo not cool!!! (did I mention it was F'N hot?????????? )

SO - my hubby says to me as we are heading home..... "You feeling like you can handle I-20? I'll take it easy and we'll go at your pace but its hot, and I wanna get home". Yeh. Ok. FINE. I can't be a candyass my whole life. I know!!! I mean, if I want to enjoy bike rides and so forth I have to actually venture past the 55mph mark so lets go for it...........

Man I gotta tell ya - something about that road just hit right today and I was having a BLAST!!!!!!! My needle went as high as 85mph (ok well maybe 82 but thats still F'N QUICK for me and my Sporty). At one point I BLEW past my hubby like a bat out of hell and I could swear I saw his jaw drop when I rounded him!! (yeh so he might say I am exaggerating a bit but I assure you, that is EXACTLY how it happened!)

38 years to find this feeling.........man what a RUSH!!!!!!!!

Shitty Day #5362

2007-06-06T15:50:00.000-07:00

So. Another completely shitty day. Maybe I should elaborate.

I hate my job. I know, I know. Who doesn't, right??? Well while those other people are hating their jobs in silence, I feel the need to post it here. On my blog. For the whole world to see. And I don't care.

So after a completely shitty day - the kind where it takes every ounce of stregnth and energy not to walk in your boss's office and tell her she can shove it where the sun don't shine - I head home for a night of evil thoughts of kicking small children and animals and somehow finding a perverse pleasure in that thought.

Ok. So maybe I wouldn't kick small animals. But the kids - well, thats another story.

So I stop at the corner gas station for some ice and milk so that I can finish off the White Russians I started last night but woosed out on and fell asleep. On my way out to the ice, a man I have never met, will probably never see again, just out of the blue said "I just want to compliment you. You are an absolutely gorgeous lady and I just wanted to tell you that".

????????????? Not only is this guy drinking in the middle of the day but he said that not as a pick up line or a "come hither" line; he merely said it, then turned and walked away.

Maybe he could see in my demeanor or facial expressions that I was having a bad day. Maybe he just learned that it's a "good deed" to compliment someone in a way that would make them feel GOOD, whether it was honest or not as I would have no way of knowing. But for whatever reason, it felt good to hear it. And for about 5 minutes, the bad day I had kind of drifted away.

Unfortuantly its about an hour later so those warm fuzzies are all gone. Good thing the memory is still there. And with any luck, that and White Russians will get me through tomorrow.

My bum has no memory......

2007-05-22T17:49:00.000-07:00

.....and its feeling the pain to prove it!

Its been approximately seven months since I have ridden my beloved Bianchi. Seven months to gain back ten of the pounds I had lost; seven months for my gawd awful saddle bags to rear their ugly "heads" and decorate me in a very unflattering fashion.Again. I can't believe that the saddle on my bike was ever comfortable but sadly I do remember thinking it was actually skooshy. Surely I was delusional. The only way my bike seat could ever be skooshy is if I were to strap memory foam in triplicate to the damn thing and then encase it in a down pillow for good measure.......

BUT (no pun intended) I will not quit. Besides, at some point my ass should lose all feeling and riding will once again be a piece of cake that I look forward to and actually plan for.

hhhmmmm......cake..........Lordy this is going to be a long month.

Myrtle Beach Bike Week

2007-05-02T18:47:00.000-07:00

It's just around the corner. We had hoped that by the time it rolled around I would be ready and competant to ride confidently and independantly on my Sporty.

But the 'rents paid us a visit from Maine. Stayed about 3 weeks. Loved having them - it's always a joy having time. But no ride time with them here so the time between the MSF class and when I could actually start practicing riding was wasted, and I am not sure what knowledge the class taught me was lost in the interim.

Then my better half decided to "re-build" his already built bike. Involved lots of shop time. And being as I am such a newbie we didn't feel it wise for me to ride anywhere other than our subdivision unless he was with me. So yet again, almost another month lost as our subdivision is very small and I didn't want to totally piss off our neighbors by riding round and round repeatedly.

Finally, we get both bikes home and running simultaneously. Go for a weekend ride and it was awesome! Scarry as hell as part of it was on a highway and the wind was very new to me as was all the traffic. And the speed (max was 53 but average was 45 - I think I pissed some cagers off a bit). But thoroughly enjoyed the ride nonetheless.

Then - bright idea - let's put my hubby's Nighttrain stock dragbars on my Sportster! Since he changed his out, and the drag bars are definately hotter than my stock Longhorn bars, we went for it. Looks GREAT but the stance of the bike is completely altered. End result - I am no longer familiar with the feel of the bike's handling since all my ride time was with the stock bars. I'm more streched out, which is what I wanted, and wrists do not sit the same, so its resulting in me giving throttle when I don't want to. Almost had an accident because of it really.

We went out for a ride. The day was beautiful and I was feeling pretty confident after the previous ride where I did so well, highway included. But on the first long stretch of road we encountered, it seemed like the bike was accelerating even when I tried to slow it down (was on a steep hill). Result - I panicked - turned right onto the first side road I could at wayyyy to high of a speed (this was after I cleared the hill and still did not seem to slow down). Thank God no car was coming my direction as I was wayyyy wide and took up the whole road; plus it was kind of gravelly so the fact that I stayed upright and able to stop without mishap was potentially a miracle.

That messed with my psyche. And its still messing with my psyche.

Pics of My Ride

2007-05-01T08:24:00.000-07:00

First "bike" Ride

2007-04-14T18:31:00.000-07:00

Today, for the very first time, I went on a REAL motorcycle ride. About 25 miles worth that was not confined to my subdivison or a high school parking lot. Some of it was actually on a 4 lane highway!

I feel like I did ok. My husband rode behind me to offer interferance should it be needed and as well to watch how I handled and if I needed any pointers. My max speed was between 50-53 but for me that was fast!!!! I was not expecting the wind factor so I kept it mostly around 45. Thats when I decided I should probably head back home for town roads since the speed limit for the highway I ended up on was 55 and most people exceed that. I did not want to be a hinderance or a statistic.

I had two instances that tested my reflexes. One was a squirrel who ran out in front of me. In my SUV I would usually swerve or slow so as not to risk hurting the squirrel. On the bike I figured better him than me and kept going (he got out of the way just in the nick of time). The second instance was when a truck turned in front of me into his driveway. He practically stopped right in front of me so he could get his mail!! The only thing I did wrong there was not downshift when I slowed and I should have. Lesson learned I hope.

Oh, and its 82 and sunny and GORGEOUS today!! So - YEA!!! And yeh, it was a blast.

2007-03-13T18:41:00.000-07:00

I've been off the wagon. Not dieting; not bike riding; drinking wine a little too often. Have not gained much of the weight back; no where near my goal. Winter ruined things with dark setting early and cold weather. Then the in-laws came for their annual visit. Real hard to stay on the wagon when they have goodies all throughout the kitchen. Will power lasts only so long.

Now its time to get back on the wagon. Its like starting all over again. So far I've started my diet this time around 4 times. Tomorrow I am going for 5.

Keep your fingers crossed for me............

Update on My Boss

2007-03-04T19:40:00.000-08:00

So she finally got a second opinion. GREAT NEWS - the cancer has NOT spread to her throat. They believe it is isolated in her breasts. As well, they claim she is Stage 3(b) (daring even to hope a high 2) and NOT Stage 4.

Chemo wrecks her. Her hair started falling out so she shaved the rest and bought a wig. It actually looks very close to her real hair. I can't imagine what it takes to get up everyday and go through the daily routine so many take for granted. I am not convinced that I would have her determination or courage.

She believes God is her reason. Her reason for the cancer as well as her reason for beating it. I don't know what I believe; I just know that she is an inspiration for hope and courage and faith.

Wow - long time gone

2007-02-20T14:54:00.000-08:00

WOW its been a long time since I have posted. So much has been going on in my life. Its so easy to get caught up in the daily grind and before you know it, valuable time has passed that you can never get back. Time that we take for granted yet suffer not one regret until something bad happens and stops you dead in your tracks.

Like it did with my boss.

My boss joined us this past October when she was transferred here by her husbands work. She's a yankee born and bred - well, damn yankee since she unpacked and decided to stay :-)

It took awhile for all of us to come to a comfortable working relationship together. There we lots of changes at work and her coming aboard was the catalyst. But we did come to a comfortable working point, and I found myself really liking her personality and the positivity she brought to the table.

In a matter of weeks she went from being reasonably healthy to having stage 4 breast cancer. And in the week of tests they performed, it was discovered the cancer had spread to her throat.

She is 42. She has a 5 year old son; a 10 year old daughter; and a 14 year old son. Needless to say, she is devastated.

It hit me hard for some reason. I find myself crying alot if I dwell on it too much; the cruelty of life's irony. I can't begin to imagine what she must be feeling, or how she manages the strength to smile and attempt to maintain some level of normalcy in her everyday life. How she manages to hold it together in a feeble attempt to help her kids from falling apart when she herself must be silently going mad........

She told me the doctors think that with chemo and surgery, she could expect another year; no guarantees. The kids will watch their mother, being slowly devastated by chemo; she will have to live, waiting for the inevitable and fearing every step of the way. It breaks my heart.

Statistically, there is a 20% survival rate for stage 4 breast cancer; best case senario for that 20% is 5 years. Ususally much less. But miracles happen. And the will to survive can conquer the unconquerable.

I know it sounds cliche but where there is life, there is hope. And I have hope.....

MSF Course

2007-02-17T20:11:00.000-08:00

I got a motorcycle. Have never ridden one in my life. But one day, after my better half decided he didn't want me riding bitch on his anymore, suggested I learn and see if I wanted to get my own.

So I signed up for the MSF Course. It's a motorcycle safety class that is offered nationwide. Some are free; some charge a fee. They teach you the basics of bike safety and handling. Excellent for a new rider.

Its a 2 & 1/2 day course. The first 1/2 day is spent in the "classroom" studying motorcycle safety and handling. The next two days are spent actually riding. They supply the bikes, helmets, etc. It's usually held in a large parking lot. For me it was at a college parking lot in Columbia SC. They use cones and markers to lay out various "obstacle" courses. They start you out from the most basic of how to start the bike and how to mount/dismount. Then they progress to how to make the bike actually mobile. Throw in turning; stopping; swerving; and variations of all the afore mentioned. At the end of the two days there is a written test and a "road" test (held in the same parking lot) to test your learned knowledge and "skills". As long as you don't have a dink for an instructor or just plain suck at riding, you pass.

Passing means you get a certificate; basically stating that you are safe to attempt road riding. It also entitles you to a discount on insurance with most companies. Although for me, it was a whooping $10 annual discount (Statefarm just LOVES its clients). Wooo-hooo...

BUTTTT - I passed and I got a bike!!! YEA!!!

A little humor for the new year

2007-02-05T16:41:00.001-08:00

My life: why me???

2006-12-30T20:05:00.000-08:00

A remodeled kitchen; a new deck; and now, french doors. All great modifications to an otherwise humdrum home but oh boy does working with my spouse one on one spell potential divorce. We work so badly with one another. He is stubborn and I am pig headed and together it just spells arguements. I must say though things are turning out rather nicely. This is before and after pics of our once ugly but now really sweet deck. Kithcen pics and french doors will be posted next.
="http://www.myphotoalbum.com">MyPhotoAlbum free photo and video sharing

Question of Life

2006-12-08T19:53:00.000-08:00

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to stress over the "complexities" of everyday life and wonder "why do bad things always happen to me?". Whining comes so easily - but its usually just a venting exercise and not really justified. And sometimes just the sound of your own voice makes the icky that you feel somehow validated......

Although what we fail to realize is that everyday we have our health, loved ones in our lives, food on our table, a roof over our heads, we are blessed. And we take it for granted so easily.

I know someone through work that has lost their 13 year old daughter to a long painful battle with cancer. Leukemia. She lived about 4 years longer than doctors expected, so that was a blessing in that they were graced with extra time. But that bittersweet time must have been so hard for him as he watched his whole life slowly deteriorate through chemotherapy and radiation; being helpless in being able to make the pain and suffering stop.

We take so much for granted in everyday life. We get so caught up in petty stresses that are molehills made mountains caused from within ourselves.

It's realities like cancer that put things back in perspective. But it's short lived when you don't experience it yourself. And the passing of time makes it easy to forget. And the cycle of everyday life starts all over again. And it jump-starts the whining......

But not for the man who has lost his little girl. He knows his blessings; he won't forget. And I'm willing to bet these last 4 years that he was fortunate enough to have with his daughter will be top on his list..........

The "Project"

2006-11-25T17:50:00.000-08:00

Have you ever noticed that no matter how much you love someone, as soon as you commit to a project with the them all bets are off? And you start to wonder if the life insurance you have in place would suffice for the amount of debt you've managed to accumulate???

I've had those thoughts today. I've thought about how easy it would be to let the sledge hammer slip and hit my beloved husband square on the noggin. His only saving grace is the immense enormity of his "love" that he sometimes shares with me. Although I sometimes wonder if Duracell stock would have the same affect......

We've decided to re-do our kitchen. This is a passing fancy we have had since we moved into this house 3 years ago. The kitchen is very outdated and the cabinets are comparable to prehistoric eras..... we actually found a couple of rat beds that were left over from when we first moved in......

"Do as I say" - that is his motto. "I will lead, you will follow." That is his creed. So after a huge realisation that we can not work together unless I follow any "ruling" he deems, we managed to strip the kitchen of its former self....

Tomorrow will bring a new day. But for now......dear lord give me strength........and pray the sledge hammer does not slip further than the wall......

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

2006-11-22T19:59:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is probably one of my most favorite days of the year. Even more so than Christmas. The reasoning for this is that on Thanksgiving no one is looking for a present. They are merely happy to be together and enjoying the simple things in life (not to mention lots of food and pie!) I will however be doing turkey day mostly healthy this year. Turkey; stuffing; peas; sauteed onions; and cranberry sauce. Simple, mostly healthy, and 100% good!

But I wanted to take a minute to give thanks......

I am thankful for my husband Bill; who gave me the strength to accept who I am and who makes me a better person just by being in my life. I am thankful for my health and for everyday that I wake to a new sunrise. I am thankful to have lived the life I have lived thus far; the good and the bad; because it made me who I am today. I am thankful for my family and for their perseverance through the hard times; and I pray for their healing and peace of mind. And I am thankful to have the understanding to know what is important, and to differentiate between what is real and what is imagined.

So many things to be thankful for that no way could they all be listed on this blog. But if a higher power does exist, He knows what is in my heart. And I find my peace in that knowing.....

Zoe & Zeus

2006-11-15T20:43:00.000-08:00

Zoe is my rat terrier. She's 3. Zeus is my boxer. He's a little over 1. Zeus adores Zoe. Zoe tolerates Zeus. Zoe is a lap dog. Zeus is desperately trying to be a lap dog. Zeus is 65lbs; Zoe is only 10lbs.

Zeus fell asleep last night using Zoe as a pillow while they both lay on/near me. My better half snapped a pic of them. They are soooo cute!! I had to share...... just like a proud mom should.

Bike Ride = Therapy

2006-11-12T16:47:00.000-08:00

Ever have one of those days when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed and no matter how many cups of coffee you have or how good your hair actually turned out, nothing goes right and everything irritates?? Well, this whole last week has been like that for me. Work has been awful; exercise practically non-existent; weight loss nil; and my attitude has absolutely sucked. Luckily though Bill didn't file divorce papers (that I know of)...... instead he guilted me into going for a bike ride with him today.

And it was awesome! And it was exhilarating. And everything that made me feel like crap disappeared and all I was left with was peace and repose and a great desire to keep riding even though my body wanted to quit.

And that is why I ride.

My first mountain bike ride

2006-11-05T22:33:00.000-08:00

I've ridden old dirt roads. I've ridden loose gravel roads. How hard can mountain biking be, right?? Boy was I in for a rude awakening! I guess one can't fully appreciate the skill it takes to ride in the woods until you experience it yourself. And I for one do NOT have the skill.

My husband is a MTB'er at heart. He was an avid and great rider pre-me days when he lived in Maine. We have talked about doing it but both love road riding so it was just conversation in passing. Now that winter is creeping in, and road riding is on hiatus until spring (except for weekends) we decided to give it a go. Bill (my hubby) has an older Parkpre mountain bike that's just my size. So we cleaned it up, got new tires etc, and hit the trails.

HolyMackeral! Do I SUCK at it!!!! And its so scary!! There were drop offs and rocks and rolling hills.... the rolling hills I can sort of handle as long as they weren't steep desents, but most of the single track trail was down the side of a steep hill and I kept envisioning myself losing balance and careening down the "mountain". I managed to stay mostly vertical (only because I walked about 2 of the 7 mile trail) but I did kind of fall once when my back tire got too close to a tree stump and I was stressed from a series of rolling hills I had just cleared (a miracle) so I freaked and wobbled and went down. Jammbed my thumb. Still hurts like the devil but that was my only fall.

Right now my husband is so PUMPED to be mountain biking again and I am scared to death to get back out there. We are going to try an "easier" trail next time but this one was supposed to be simple enough. I am attaching a link of a rider on a trail similar to the one we were on. There are (I think) 4 "FATS" trails; the one we were on is called the "Skinny Loop". This guy in the video is doing the "Brown Wave" trail. The guy is a daredevil in my book so needless to say I took the trail considerably slower. It gives you the general idea..... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoWyd_tUnBE
__________________

Random Thought

2006-11-02T19:37:00.000-08:00

In a way, crosswords do harm by cluttering up the mind with an aimless heap of unusual words selected purely for mechanical exigencies and having no well-proportioned relation to the needs of graceful discourse. ~H. P. Lovecraft

Sadly, I love crosswords......

Naive Wisdom - a poem

2006-11-02T18:34:00.000-08:00

Broken promises lie scattered at my feet; an aching fills my empty heart.
Hopes which once were firmly grasped, lies have ripped apart.

Unanswered questions invade my mind; seeking answers never to find.
I close my eyes in anxious vain: never to trust again.

Naivete begets wisdom.

2006-11-02T18:23:00.000-08:00

What is it with the color pink???? I hate the color pink! Or at least, I thought it did. I have always been the kind of gal who wears black and brown and blue, and various shades in between. I have been known to have some other earthy colors in my wardrobe, such as burnt orange, but pink was never one of them. It's a sissy color! A color for bimbos and girls who add 2 + 2 and come up with 5.

But in the last year or so, pink has kinda been speaking to me. So much so that I traded in an orange gym bag for a pink one. Did you hear me??? PINK! Its a soft pink, baby pink if you will, and sooo cute! Reebok brand with gray accents. And I have some dark pink wicking shirts, bordering the color of fuschia, and they don't clash with the bag.

I can't believe I am gushing about a pink gym bag...... I need therapy.

2006-11-01T19:34:00.000-08:00

I suppose before I get too far into this blog thing, I should explain what the whole “Bianchi Girl” thing is all about (for those of you who care to know). As you can see from my links, a Bianchi is an Italian made bike. When I first started cycling. I was riding a Giant OCR Limited. A very nice bike, but not fully fitted for me and not fully the “wow” factor.

As I got more into cycling, and knowledgeable of what I wanted and liked, I kind of gravitated to the Bianchi. I loved the look, the design, the quality; and though it’s a fairly common bike in the cycling world, its not one you see everyday. I tried to fight the desire for one. Convinced myself I could. But then my dearest hubby graced me with my very own custom fit, full carbon 2006 Bianchi 928, handmade in Italy.

Where the “Bianchi Girl” parts comes in is a little more jealousy based.

A local female rider whom I have never met rides a Bianchi as well. Not the 928, but a Bianchi nonetheless. And she is a strong rider. And she is fit, and lean, and cute, and rides with the confidence of a pro. I refer to her as Bianchi Girl. She has set the standard I want to achieve so that one day (hopefully soon) I too will be worthy of the Bianchi Girl title. And then I will lay waste to her and she can eat my dust!!

WASHED HANDS - a poem of youth

2006-10-31T18:01:00.000-08:00

Lollipop kisses (sticky sweet) impress their nectar upon your whiskered cheek:
Your hand absently wiped away their adolescent aftertaste.

Despondent arms; outstretched for a reassuring (pretentious) hug
Grasp only the stale air of your indifference breathed upon my naively upturned face:
Smothered in incognizance.

Does it mystify?

That I have excommunicated myself from your well rehearsed pleasantries?

Your hypocritical attempts to condone justification of your displaced loyalty

simply compounds the situation.

Your bed is not mine to lie in; your rules no longer mine to follow.

Perhaps now you will be the one to recite fairytales on feather-filled pillows

as silent tears cascade down self erected barricades, puddling by your cheek...

Pray you never hear the lone hoot owl as he waits impatiently by your grave...

2006-10-24T18:18:00.000-07:00

The Y offers spin classes. Being as bike riding is next to nil for me lately (due to cold weather and daylight savings) I decided to join in. WOW. Big difference from road riding.

Riding outdoors you are able to coast and sight see; to smell the wonderful scents of nature; to marvel in the beauty of life. You can feel your flesh, heated from the exertion of the ride, cooling from the wind caressing your skin as you pedal carefree along.....

Spinning doesn't come close to that. With spinning you get to feel the sweat pour down every crevice of your body as you continuously pedal, not daring to stop or let up too much as someone might notice and consider you weak, a wannabe cyclist. And the coach shouts to crank it up a notch, get that heartbeat up, push your limits. And so you push, and your legs feel like they are going to explode, so you stand and pedal because that is supposed to relieve some of the agony. But I'm guessing that only works on a real ride because all it does for me is intensify the ache. And just when you are about to give in to the wannabe stigma, the coach yells to slow it down. Take it easy on yourself so you can regroup, recharge. Yes, Margaret, there is a God, and he/she's spinning too.

I'm going to go pass out now.....

Random Thought

2006-10-24T07:18:00.000-07:00

(compliments of T.N.N)

Some people are like Slinkies...
Not really good for anything but they still bring a smile to your face when
you push them down a flight of stairs.

2006-10-22T09:37:00.000-07:00

So Yeah! I found a snazzy windbreaker/rainjacket for riding. Its Noth Face Apex, and its burnt orange, and its sooooo warm, yet very thin and lightweight. Yesterday it performed beautifully so I was all set to ride even further today. So what to my wondering eyes should appear after I manage to drag myself out of bed this Sunday morning? Yup. Rain. And not a slight misting or drizzle but the kind that impairs your vision and leaves you chilled to the bone.

Ok. So option two. Hit the Y. But wait! I live in the bible belt where nothing opens until 1:30pm on Sundays (gotta have time for church and breakfast) so instead I sit here. Amusing myself with my very own blog while my boxer Zeus and my rat terrier Zoe crawl all over me making typing next to impossible. And heaven forbid I close them out of the room as they will whine incessantly til I can't take it anymore and let them back in.......

Oh goodie! Here comes my Chihuahua Kong and my Daschuahua Bruiser climbing all over me too! Time for one handed typing.

Life is Good.

Its Fall Again....

2006-10-20T20:12:00.001-07:00

Fall is here. Chilly nights and dark way too soon. Bad for cycling unless you have hi-viz lights and a brightly colored cycling jacket with reflective trim so vehicles can see you. I don't know from experience but I imagine getting hit by a car would suck pretty bad. And I'm still searching for the perfect jacket at a bargain price, and hi-viz lights aren't offered at a bargain............

A lot of cyclists use indoor trainers this time of year but it's SOOOO boring! The scenery never changes; you can't feel the outdoor air creeping thru your helmet, caressing your sweaty scalp with a cooling breeze. You can't people watch unless you watch the people on your boob tube. That doesn't count. I want to see real people. Real people who leave the house wearing spandex that is way too tight and enhances every roll of fat and cellulite chunk.

Oh wait... that kinda describes me.............